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Dafna Iram
Abstract of her own story
Dafna’s father was a violent, overbearing person and her mother was hardly
felt in the home. When she was three and a half years old, her father left
home because of her mother’s unwanted pregnancy, and her mother sank into a
deep depression. Dafna’s two elder sisters went to live with their grandmother,
and at the age of four Dafna was already practically responsible for her
little brother. The children were totally neglected and Dafna “wandered about
barefoot – a sad little girl…I was really looking for other parents”. Her
father returned and “then the nightmare started”. Her father beat her and her
mother brutally for no reason, and her mother left home. She taught herself
how to read and books became a refuge and an obsession. “I lived in an
imaginary world”.
From the age of five to eleven she was sexually abused by a neighbor, and
when her father finally found out, he blamed her, beat her and dragged her to
the police. As a result she rebelled, her schoolwork deteriorated, though
for a time she still excelled at sports. Her father enslaved her, she not
only had to do all the housework, but also meet his sexual needs. On her Bar
Mitzva, instead of a celebration she got a savage beating. She ran away from
home, joined older youngsters in the neighborhood, started taking hashish,
and had sexual relations with them. Then she wandered all over the country
and had sexual relations with anyone who would give her place to sleep. She
was sent temporarily to a closed institution, was sexually abused there and
ran away. She was transferred to a hostel in Jerusalem and went back to
school, but didn’t fit in and began to take heroin. She ended up in a closed
psychiatric ward for youth and went on taking drugs, stealing medicines. All
she wanted was “peace and quiet - or death”.
There were some better periods when she managed to keep drug-free, but from
the age of 16 to 18 she was totally under the influence of drugs, cut off
from reality. At 18 she married a childhood friend, but they lived a crazy
irresponsible life and their marriage soon broke up, although she had become
pregnant. Her little daughter did not live with her, but became very
important to her. At the age of 21 she again succumbed to drugs, and lived
in a bus station. With the help of a girlfriend she made another attempt at
leading a normal life and managed to take a course in hotel management,
paying for it with prostitution. Then she again resolved to submit to
detoxication and decided to join the Malkishua community. Her first two
attempts to remain there failed, but finally she was able to confront her
“disgusting” past life, and left Malkishua “feeling responsible for myself,
having learnt to forgive myself and others, and ready to face life outside”.
She learnt to work on a computer and got a job. She got married and has a
child, and finally a real home. Her little daughter has a loving mother.
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